Movies Logo
Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!

▶ Watch
The Wiz Live!

The Wiz Live!

2015

Titanic at 100: Mystery Solved

Titanic at 100: Mystery Solved

2012

The Circle

The Circle

2017

Toy Story 4

Toy Story 4

2019

Joker

Joker

2019

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

2018

Pretty Woman

Pretty Woman

1990

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

2015

Five

Five

2016

Serenity

Serenity

2019

Erin Brockovich

Erin Brockovich

2000

Shrek Forever After

Shrek Forever After

2010

Five Feet Apart

Five Feet Apart

2019

Fractured

Fractured

2019

Now You See Me

Now You See Me

2013

The Suicide Squad

The Suicide Squad

2021

Nocturnal Animals

Nocturnal Animals

2016

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV

2016

Batman: The Killing Joke

Batman: The Killing Joke

2016

The Good Dinosaur

The Good Dinosaur

2015